Honestly, I haven't written in this blog in a while because I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to express the feelings I have been experiencing while going through this class. I would come to my computer a couple times, sit down and start typing and find that I have no words to say. There are so many thoughts swirling around inside my exhausted brain and I am not sure how to get them out. But I will try.
We are a third of the way done with our classes. We meet with 5 other couples and an older woman in a tiny room in Dekalb. The two ladies that lead the class are extremely comical at times as if we are watching an awkward interaction on a saturday night live performance. But both are very knowledgeable in what they do and we have learned so much already. One of the ladies has been a foster parent since she was in her early 20's and has fostered and adopted 13 boys from ages 3-17. She has brought forth ideas and thoughts that never enter our minds before.
This time in class has been draining yet so informative. I have felt unfit for this position and at the same time encouraged. Many times I want to run right out of the room and never come back but I am constantly reminded of the plan that God has for us. The plan He has called for us. I am reminded of the kids that are in need of love and help. I am reminding that we can do all things through Him who gives us strength (phil 4:13). And I stay, I return, and I will continue to return until we are done.
I had a very close friend lend me a book on my Nook and it was perfect timing. It is called What happens when women walk in faith by, Lysa TerKeurst. I only read one chapter yet it hit the nail on the head. Here are a few things that I pulled from the first chapter.
"What we call mundane is, in some very important ways, significant in Gods school of preparation"
-All those years of waiting and wondering what God was doing in my life was for a reason. He was preparing me for what He had for my life. Preparing me for this. The schooling I had, the many families I nannied for, the financially tough times we went through, the five miscarriages that I experience, and all the many many times that we moved. All seemed small or insignificant at the time but as you put the whole picture together they are huge for the task my husband and I are striving to fulfill. During each of those times in my life God lead me closer to my calling.
"God doesn't call the qualified, but He qualifies those He calls"
-Many times my heart cried out to God "I am not fit for this position, how can I do this" I can't do this alone, I can only do it with God right by my side. As long as I am following Him and continue to be obedient to His word and calling, I CAN do this and I am qualified. "Hold closely to God and keep looking for the next open door of opportunity"
I have only read one chapter of this book and I can already say I would highly recommend it.
These classes keep getting harder and harder because the reality is the need is more significant. The children need foster families that can provide stability, love and support. I pray that I can be that to the children that walk through my door.
