As spouses & especially parents we go through this hard lesson of sacrificing our time for someone that we love. It is hard, but we don't mind doing it. We lose countless hours of sleep when that new baby arrives. We are changing diapers with one eye open in the middle of the night and catching yourself nodding off as you zip up those cute fuzzy footy pajamas. We share our bed, and give up our neatly polished look for sweats, a t-shirt that most likely has spit up on it and a ponytail that is falling out. We change our diets and even forget to feed ourselves, we spend emotional hours trying to stay consistent in our discipling, and we give up our time so that our child may feel loved & desired. Why? Because we love them to the moon and back!
After a long morning I reached my hand into basket in our pantry. It was the basket where I keep "the goods" so that they don't get eaten by other members of my family! This basket held one last treasure, a dark chocolate square that melts ever so slowly in your mouth as your read the sweet message on the foil wrapper. "I deserve this." I say to myself. As I pulled it out I hear little feet come running up behind me. Most likely because she heard the pantry door squeak and in curiosity came bolting out of her room. "mom……..whatcha got?" I could have said nothing and turned away with this little piece of heaven hid tightly in my hand but as I looked at that sweet smile I opened my hand and I said, "A chocolate, you want it?" She screamed with laughter grabbed it and ran away into the other room to devour my chocolate in a matter of seconds, no joke. Was it worth it? Yes. I got to see that beautiful smile and that sweet little girl light up and my day was made.
I can't help but think of Jesus today and what he gave up for us so many years ago, just because he loved us. I sit here in Starbucks with my grande lime refresher and ponder the final hours of his life here on earth. I started thinking about his ministry first and the people he healed, the thousands he fed physically and emotionally and the ones he saved. Countless accounts of his majesty yet so many still had unbelief which led him to the cross. The cross….I go there.
I close my eyes, drown out all the noise around me, and I am there as the soldiers rip his clothes off him and wrap a scarlet robe around him. They pick up a crown of thorns that they had made and push it into his skull, blood comes down and drips over his eyes as he turns and looks at me with only love in his eyes. My heart leaps out of my chest and I fall down to the ground because his majesty is too great to stand, because that should be me. I look up and notice they had ripped off the rob and began mocking and spitting at him. I see his back facing me and I see where they had beaten him so brutally that no skin was left untouched. All I see is blood, my blood. His body is weak and he can hardly stand on his own. They toss the heavy cross on his freshly wounded back and shout to him to walk. He walks to the cross where he is hung by nails that are driven into his wrist and ankles. My hand reaches out and I wipe the blood that is dripping down his feet. I hear people around me screaming at him to save himself, even the two robbers next to him on their own crosses begin to mock & swear at him. I look up and hear him say, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." My eyes pour out with tears and my hands reach out towards him as he gathers every last ounce of strength in his body to cry out to his Father and then he takes his final breath. The ground shakes my body and my cries are among the many crying out for him as we see his glory.
Why? Because he loves us sinners to the moon & back and all around this universe. This love is so immensely huge that we cannot understand. I pray that my life will reflect his beauty and majesty so that when I stand before the Lord on judgment day He can say, "well done good and faithful servant, it was worth it."
