I trust you God....but...

Have you ever caught yourself saying these words, I trust you God but.....?  I know I have many times.  I can go way back to when I believed that trusting God had strings attached.  I had my ways and I wanted my ways to be fulfilled.  I unfaithfully believed that God was against me when something didn't go my way.  How could you not want me have these things God?  Why did you let me hurt this way God?  God I can't handle this, please take it away.  In each of those moments I believed that I knew what was best for my life.  I believed that I knew what I deserved and it wasn't this.

Why do we feel like we deserve far greater than we have?  I deserve to have kids, I deserve to have that house, I deserve to have those clothes or that car, etc.  We are taught that if we are good we are entitled to great things.  We ARE entitled to great things, just not the earthly desires that we first turn to.

-Life was not given primarily for physical pleasures, but for something greater, the approval of God -John Piper

We are not here for our own earthly desires but for the enjoyment of God.  We should not desire these things because these things will not give you true enjoyment, only God can.  God knows the desires of your heart and He fights for you.  He is a good God and a just God.  He wants these things for you.  Many times there is a bigger picture we can't see yet.  This bigger pictures if far greater than those earthly desires.  Such as when I cried out to God for each of my children.  "God, don't take this one away from me."  I could not understand why God wasn't for me with this and why He didn't save them.  The bigger picture is I was taught a far greater lesson through those experiences than I could have with those babies in my arms.

I began to see the true meaning of trust through all my experiences these past few years.  In these past few years things have happened to me that reveal that God is for me.  Countless times we have tried to buy a house and it has been frustrating each time that we are let down for many different reasons.  As friends and family are buying their first houses we are at home with my parents, waiting.  As I look back to each of those times we wanted to put an offer on a house, I can clearly see God saving us from unforeseen problems, the real-estate crash or being relocated.  Each time he was saying, "Be patient my child, I have something far great than this" so we waited and we still are waiting.  I know that there is something God is saving for us and it is going to be good.

Each day I fight this fight of trusting God.  I can't do this alone,  I have great people in my life that remind me daily of God's love and God uses them to give me little nudges about what it really means to trust in Him.  Now that my eyes are open to his faithfulness I can faithfully hand over each anxiety I have to Him and trust that all is well and I had nothing to worry about.

God knows your beginning and your end.  He knows what you need and will provide, always.  Do not be anxious about anything.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Let the days own trouble be sufficient for the day" (Matthew 6:34)

If you don't feel you are capable or worthy enough for something, pray that God will mold you to be that person and trust He will.  If you don't feel that you can handle the hurt, pray that God will allow you to overcome the heartache and trust He with you every step of the way, holding your hand.  If you feel that your desires are not being met, pray that God will meet them and Trust that He will in His way and know that His way is far greater than our own understanding.  Don't put God in a box and expect little things.  Take God out of that box and expect great things.   You are more than your earthly desires and you deserve the amazing things He has for you!