Steady my Heart

I sat in the front seat of my mom's cranberry red chevy Malibu going down I65 South heading toward sunny Florida.  My mom was driving and my sweet girl was singing her little heart out in the backseat, as usual!  We had one overnight pit stop in Nashville to pick up a few vacation tagalongs (aka: my sister, aunt and cousin) and then we would be in the sunshine state.  We were beyond excited to finally be on the road heading south, toward warmer weather so we can unthaw our frozen bones.  This winter was harder than most winters, and I mainly blame in on the movie Frozen coming out!  If that movie was called Melting or Thawed…maybe we wouldn't have had the snowapocalypse….just saying! Anyways, I had some time to think as I sat there strapped in and 6 hrs of interstate ahead of me.  My mind began to worry, doubt, and fear the unknowns about our adoption.

(side note)
We have been beyond blessed by everyone who has supported us in this adoption.  God has shown up in amazing ways through people praying, raising money to get started with the company Christian Adoptions Consultants (so worth it by the way!! but ill save that for another post), and helped us raise money to get started on our home study!  We were blown away how they money came in and we were able to move forward!  If I haven't thanked you already for your amazing support….thank you!  Because every dollar helps get my baby home and everyone has a hand in getting him into my arms….so cool!  (I can just heal Olaf saying "all good things, all good things" man that movie!!!!)

(So back to I65…..)
As our home study is on it way and moving at great speeds,(YAY) my mind began to think about what happens after the home study.  What do we do now?  I felt that I have exhausted my fundraising options at this point and I began to sink slowing into my seat, curling up into a ball so that I may become smaller, just thinking of asking for more money.

"But God….they have already given so much, how can I ask for more…who would give more?"
 
This is where I make a crucial mistake.  First I said "But, God".  Just so you know, those two words don't go together.  Saying "but" before God signifies that I have another idea, thought or objective other than Gods.  It is saying that I think His plan isn't going to work because I am having doubt or fear associated to the topic.  Secondly, I said "how can I ask for more?"  Did you catch that?  I took control!  I put all the pressure on myself and didn't let God take care of it.  I was too worried about what people would think if I asked for more money!  God gently whispers, "I will ask"  Whew…that takes all the pressure off! Thank you God!  I was encouraged to begin praying specifically for our funding and it went more like this:

"God, I trust you.  I know you will provide the funds when the time is right!  I know you have a perfect child waiting for us and we will wait for him patiently.  I pray that you will stir in people's hearts about helping us fund our adoption at just the right time, your time.  I love you.  Amen"

After that prayer I was at peace with where our adoption journey was at and how long it could take us to reach our goal! All I could think about at this point was….SUMMER!!!  ( "I just love summer and all things HOT!")

Fast forward three days later:

I read an email saying they have a donation for us to help us fund our adoption!  Wait…..what?   This girl begins to tell me how a few days earlier she was praying for a way that they could help us with our adoption.  God opened doors and answered prayers!!  We were both amazed at God's love, timing & provision in all this!

I wrote this mainly to give everyone an idea of where we are at in our adoption journey.  We are almost there!  There still could be some funds needed along the way but for now we can move forward and quickly if we need to thanks to this donation!  The second reason for writing this is to say thank you!  We are blessed, truly blessed by everyone and are amazed at God's hands guiding us the whole way.  We wouldn't be able to do this without your prayerful, emotional & financial support.  Finally, I wrote this because I want to encourage you.  If you are doubting, worried or fearful of the situation you are in, I encourage you to quit saying "but, God" or "I can't."  Instead, let go of the control and trust that God will provide and can move mountains.  Be bold in your prayer and ask that God will steady your heart.  And know that God will provide!

"And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the son." (John 14:13)

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is no life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do no sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"  (Matthew 6:25-27)